Can there be Peace in Worry?

I'll never forget the day I hit 14 weeks with my very first pregnancy. I was ELATED. I was in the clear, nothing could happen to the baby I was growing inside now that I passed the dreaded "miscarriage zone".... With a huge sigh of relief, I felt the feeling of worry drift off of my shoulders. And then, only moments later, come crashing back down around me...

I may have been out of harms way for a miscarriage, but there were so many other things that could happen! And I am talking about solely in the womb, umbilical cord, heart issues, still birth... you name it, I worried... I spent the next 26 weeks agonizingly awaiting the birth of our beautiful daughter, so I could finally lay worry to rest.

Well if you have ever been a parent, then you know how naive those simple thoughts were. I thought "if only..." about 1,000 times in her first year of life.

If only she gets past the "SIDS zone"
If only she learns to chew without choking
If only she walks without breaking her neck
If only she can learn to manage stairs
If only....
If only...
If only...

I mean seriously, I was ridiculous.

And then it dawned on me like a heavy boulder on my chest.

It. Never. Ends.

The worry will NEVER go away... I saw this awful spiral of worry eating me alive. Literally, I felt like it was about to consume my every waking moment and it was honestly terrifying.

When Lydia was about 18 months old, I found out we were expecting baby #2, and I felt the creep and responsibility to worry about another precious human life. Worry alone, is probably the most exhausting thing on the planet, isn't it??

The thing with worry, is that is does NO good. None. It eats you alive with the "if only's" and the "What if's" and the "It could be's" but it never makes you feel better or calmer... it can honestly be paralyzing at times.

See I was so new to this parenting life, that I just thought this is how it is from now on. I didn't realize there was any other way... until one day, my pastor read a verse that made me want to stand up and cheer in the pew! Thank you Lord, there is a cure, an answer, a saving grace!!!

"Do not be anxious about ANYTHING, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus" Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)

Now don't get my wrong, I had heard this verse a hundred times in my life. But being a parent brings on more worry and anxiety than I could ever have imagined. This time, I heard the verse with a new heart and a new mind, and it made me feel like I could finally be free. Free to love and live and trust that my God was in control.

Fast forward a few years, we have 3 kids and life has absolutely had its ups and downs... have I been worry free? Absolutey... not. HA! We have had money scares, pregnancy scares, we have had ER visits, and those child screams that make your entire body move into action because something is terribly wrong... yes we have had those too. These moments are never going to be gone. They will change through the years, and will eventually turn into curfew scares, and broken heart fears. They will turn into "my 16 year old is behind the wheel" fears and my baby is going off to college tears...

But one thing I do know is that these fears, tears, and worry do not have to rest on my shoulders anymore. I am not immune to them by a long shot. No, quite the opposite... but it is so freeing that worry does not rest in my hands anymore.
And just because they are in God's hands, does not mean there won't be heartache and pain... It just means that I am not in this world to carry the burden of worry. I am here to love, protect, nurture, and teach my children all about life.

I want to show them how to love right, learn better, crave adventure, and take chances....and yes worry too... I want to teach them that worry is inevitable, but what you do with it can literally change your life. It did mine, and I hope it does you as well.