When Thank You Isn't Enough

Yesterday I told my daughter "thank you for doing that!" and then went about my business of pulling stuff out of the car. I didn't think anything about it. Later I said something like, "did you get those papers out of the car?" and she said mom you said "thank you" when I did it.

With a look that clearly said she thought I was going senile, she walked away. After assuring myself I am not going crazy, I wondered why I didn't remember it.... and then I realized I was just going through the motions. I wasn't giving her true appreciation for her action.

It was a minor incident, obviously, but it got me thinking that we as a society, parents, friends, and strangers do it ALL the time.

A stranger holds the door for you- Thank you!

Your husband fills the tank with gas- thank you honey!

Your child was being nice to a kid- I appreciate what you did.

You get the idea... the list could go on. and on. and on.

The point is, when we are specific with our thank you's, our appreciation reaches their inner being and they want to do it again.

Ok, hear me out....

Someone holds the door for you- Thank you for being such a gentleman, you don't see it much anymore.

Your husband fills the tank with gas- Thank you for filling my car, it makes it so much easier to not have to worry about it through the week.

Your child was being nice- You know I really appreciated it when you helped that boy after he fell, I bet he felt really special having someone like you there.

You see the difference??

When we offer specifics, it allows the person we are thanking to know we are serious. We noticed something they did and it wasn't just a knee-jerk reaction of, "thank you"... we showed true appreciation by commenting on something specific they did.

Not only do they notice it, and will probably do it again, but it also helps the person "thanking". We start thinking positively about the people that surround us. We start noticing the littler things and will recognize why we are saying "thank you" in the first place. It helps us to have a grateful heart.

I don't want to thank my kids, my husband, or even strangers in a meaningless way anymore. I want them to know exactly what and why I am thankful. I want my kid to know I am not only watching them, but appreciating them in very specific ways.

My goal is to remember that a "thank you" isn't enough anymore.